XXXXXXX Kafei and Anju: Star Crossed Lovers XXXXXXX
by HotCockOnTheRockYUM98
Summary: This is a tale of romance, heartbreak, adventure, and lust ;). It follows their escapade through the lush, green forests of the Lost Woods, their treacherous climb up the dangerous sides of Goron Mountain, and... nah I'm just playing, this is just some fucking weird ass shit homo shit


"I don't know..." Said Anju looking down at her fiancé.

"Please Anju?" I haven't tasted your pussy in so long." He moaned.

"Yeah but you're a kid now Kafei! What am i gonna do with that caterpillar of a dick!? I'm tight, but not that tight." She sighed.

"Fine then! I'll do it myself!" Kafei started jerking off in front of Anju. Slowly and then speeding up. He stopped suddenly, confused.

"This usually works like a charm...why isn't my dick hard?" He pondered.

"Kafei, you dipshit, you haven't hit puberty yet. You're in like a seven year old's body. Need I remind you?" She tutted.

"Argh!" Kafei cried. "I need to get off somehow! I'm uber horny."

"Well..." muttered Anju "there is one way I might be able to pleasure you, but it's a little unorthodox."

"God please anything otherwise I might go insane" pleaded Kafei who was still trying to get it up.

Anju went over to her beside table and got something out of the drawer.

"What is that a dildo?" asked Kafei sitting up on the bed.

"Sort of" explained Anju "it's a strap on"

"For me to wear?"

"No... for me"

"Wait.. so you're saying..you're gonna"

"I'm gonna fuck you in the ass Kafei. I'm gonna fuck your in the ass so hard." This display of dominance aroused Kafei.

"Lie back" ordered Anju, putting on her strap on.

Kafei followed her command, lying back on the soft covers of the bed. At this point Kafei didn't even realize what was about to happen, thoughts clouded his judgement, all he wanted was pleasure.

Meanwhile, a red balloon floated nearby, with none other than Tingle hanging from it.

"Doo doo doo, I wonder if there are any fairies nearby?"

Suddenly, Tingle heard a strange noise. It sounded like screaming, or moaning or something. It was coming from the window of a nearby house.

"Huh, what could that be?" thought Tingle.

Looking in the window, he saw a large sillouette moving up and down over a very small one. Tingle put the pieces together immediately.

"HOLY HELL! THAT PEDOPHILIA!" screamed Tingle, loud enough for everybody nearby to hear.

Tingle whipped out his cell phone and dialled 911.

"YO!" he shouted. "There's some messed up stuff going down over there!"

The police responded immediately, parking their car outside the crime scene.

"Come out with your hands up!" one of them shouted into a megaphone.

"Uh oh." said Anju.

Unfortunately, these weren't any cops, they were... LUSTY COPStm!

Soon kafei was like an overstuffed pencil holder. Never before had an anus been stretched this much.

I mean, God, you can't imagine. It was, like, larger than the rest of his ass. I just can't- anyway, that's besides the point.

But tingle had ulterior motives. He had read up on anus lore, and found that when an anus was stretched to MAXIMUM DIAMETERS

(always in caps lock, this was important), it released an ancient genie, who would grant the wish of any fairy.

"Hee Hee! I can't wait to become Fairy Overlord. And to believe the trick was undead pedophilic people. I shoulda done this sooner!"

Back at dicksluts- sorry, kafei's buttfuck jamboree, episode 4, 56 more people had joined.

Kafei had reached approximately beach ball diameter. Tingle strutted into the room, three more pedophiles drooling behind him.

He pulled out a ruler and measured the diameter.

"Hmm... Only 20 inches. We're barely out of the midna area."

He disgustedly remember whatever the fuck midna is.

"Eyughhh" he shuddered.

Then he remembered something. An old friend from school.

He pulled out a communication rune (rose gold iPhone 6s) and scrolled down to a name called "50 inch wide penis. ONLY FOR ANUS PORTAL."

He put his mouth to the rune

"Hello, Shane?"

Shane arrived in 5 minutes. When his mom pulled in, she braked a little too hard, and Shane's megalodon dick burst through the front of the car, breaking down the door.

Tingle heard a familiar sound 'thump thump, draaaag. Thump thump, draaaag.' And knew Shane had arrived.

He gestured towards kafei gaping hole of an ass, and Shane took one look and nodded. It took thirty men to lift his dick, and another thirty to hold it up once Shane got hard.

Kafei was to busy lying in mass orgasm to realize what was happening. Tingle stood at a safe distance, wearing safety goggles. \

He knew once Shane started, it was going to get messy quick.

"READY, AIM, GO!" Cried one of the men, and Shane just straight up jack hammered kafei's ass.

Never before had kafei felt so much pain and pleasure. His wife stood by, horrified about what she'd wrought.

"W-why are you doing this!" She screamed.

Tingle turned to her and pulled out a small bow.

"Shut up!" He whispered "Otherwise you'll distract him!"

"P-please, stop this madness!" She began to run towards her soon to be fucked to death husband, but she never made it.

Tingle shot with the accuracy of an Olympic skeet shooter, and there were six arrows in her back before you could say "Anus Genie"

"This is bigger than you." Tingle whispered in a harsh tone to Anju's convulsing body.

"I-I know..." She gagged with her last breath " Nothing's bigger than Shane's dick..." And she passed into the next world.

Over by kafei, things were going smoothly. Which is to say, approximately 49 inches wide. Shane smiled, knowing he had a trick up his sleeve. He was half faerie on his fathers side. This genie would respond to him and him alone...

Tingle looked down at Anju's corpse. How pitiful. He thought. I thought these undead would put up more of a fight. Then he heard a faint humming.

A glow was emerging from kafei's dank cavern. He ran towards the source, just as Shane climaxed. In a spray of blood and jizz, kafei was disintegrated.

In his place was a pale ghostly figure.

"SPA-DAMP!" Yelled the figure, covered in love juice. "Haven't had a jizz bath that large since 'The Giver'!"

"Anyway." Sighed the phantom in pleasure "I'm Adam, spirit of lust, lord of Anus Genies."

Tingle and Shane looked at each other, confused.

"You put so much jizz in that boy that you got my attention, and I just HAD to meet my summoner." He exclaimed. "So, uh, who did summon me?"

The action was faster than the human eye could see. Tingle whipped out his bow, and Shane turned quickly to the left.

The arrow hit Shane just above his heart, and Shane's dick hit tingle at approximately head level, snapping his neck and killing him instantly.

Shane gasped in pain. He spat out blood and motioned for Adam to come closer.

" I have one request..." He breathed, about to die "Take my nudes... Off the internet..."

Then he died. Adam looked at the blood and jizz littering the room, his appearance had apparently vaporized all the pedophiles in the room too.

He looked at the corpse of a young girl, covered mostly in blood, but in some jizz too.

"Well fuck" said Adam, lord of sex. " No wonder this happened! She put the strap-on on backwards!"

FIN


End file.
